This night, shadowy sadness looms over her

A charcoal cloud lit by an ominous crescent moon

It’s sharp cold sliver the only suggestion of light

As the promise of salty rain is felt in her throat

She wishes she was normal – ‘vanilla’

She would never have known the dizzying heights her curse offers

She would not have felt the hot caress that burned into her soul

Or the depth of connection only the curse can provide

But she would be relieved of the hunger that cannot be satisfied

The ache no aspirin can relieve

She would be spared her feeble and clumsy attempts to safely expose herself

Attempts met with disdain or disbelief or worse – ignored

There would be no looming shadowy sadness

This night she would sleep easily

No frown creasing her brow

No gnawing fear she may never again feel that which she now can only imagine – or remember

But there is no choice

She has the curse – the hunger – the ache – the need

This night, that which she once saw as a blessing and a gift

Is a curse and a burden