Perhaps I’m missing something.


It’s amazing how many emails I have received from gentlemen suggesting we meet up so they can satisfy my submissive needs and alleviate my suffering.  It is flattering and heart warming to be the recipient of such attention, but —!

Closeness – trust – respect – devotion – all these elements come together to create a nurturing, intimate, loving environment in which a submissive feels safe and supported.  How is it possible for any submissive to allow a man to tie her up, blindfold or spank her without these elements in place?

Perhaps I’m missing something.

Without the intimacy, without the deep closeness borne from trust developed over time, without the certain knowledge that the Dominant is a safe, loving man who wishes his subject only happiness, how can one possibly surrender?

To be spanked is an intensely intimate experience.  In many ways the intimacy is greater than when engaging in the sex act itself.  The Dominant is keenly tuned to his submissive, judging her reactions, sensing her pleasure (or displeasure if discipline is involved).  To offer one’s self for a random spanking at the hands of a stranger makes no sense to me.

Perhaps I’m missing something.

The Dominant to whom I turn over my power must possess certain qualities, and those qualities can only be seen and experienced through time spent together.  Interaction develops the closeness and trust, respect and adoration on both sides.

Then there is the all important chemistry.  Perhaps that intense, enveloping, shared energy is something that only comes once in a lifetime, and I’ve had my ‘once’.  (I pray that is not the case).  The sparking, electric exchange that makes my toes tingle and my heart race cannot be created.  It exists or it does not.  If it does not, then –??

I see no point in subjugating myself to another simply for the sake of it.  Perhaps others can.  Perhaps others can kneel in submission without the chemistry, without the surety of the man in whom she is placing her trust, without the developed, devoted closeness.

Perhaps I’m missing something.  If I am – please tell me.