spj(Pic borrowed from Spanking and Submission)


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Spanking is a form of corporal punishment consisting of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain.[1] It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand. When an open hand is used, spanking is referred to in some countries as slapping or smacking. More severe forms of spanking, such as switching, paddling, belting, caning, whipping, and birching, involve the use of an implement instead of a hand.
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Perhaps you have fantasies about being thrown over a manly man’s lap, your skirt pulled up, your panties yanked down, and the hunky hero slapping your bottom until you are apologizing profusely for your misdeed.

You may be a submissive who has seen her backside reddened many times, and still the fascination about the D/s dynamic, or even just straightforward spanking, holds you in its grasp, and you feel compelled to continue to read, write, watch, and listen.

There are many reasons we love/hate/crave/dread spankings. I decided to do an unscientific survey and put together a list of questions for my submissive sisters, more out of curiosity than anything else. Not a huge sampling. I kept it to an even dozen.

Dom or sub, please, if the spirit moves you, I welcome your comments and views.

What is your favorite part of being spanked?

1) The after-care. This was the overwhelming winner. My participants said this was when they felt the greatest intimacy and closeness with their partner.


2) The dissolution of guilt and shame, i.e. if the spanking was related to a crime. As one woman put it, “it’s like taking a shower. I feel clean afterwards.” Another said, “it balances everything and we can get on with things.”

3) The ritual. Many of the women with whom I spoke said they enjoy an established practice. For example, one woman described how her husband gives her a specific time in the evening when she must present herself for punishment, wearing a certain dress, or lingerie, etc.

Overall, the comments made it clear there appears to be a fondness for, perhaps even a comfort in, a rite attached to a spanking.

4)  Anticipation.  

There are two sides to anticipation.

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a)  At a social event the Dominant shoots his sub the look. The one that tells her he is going to have his way with her when they get home, which always involves some form of spanking. A shiver runs down her spine, and she can think of nothing else all evening.

b)  The sub hasn’t paid the cable bill and the television is shut off.

The anticipation felt in these two instances varies greatly, the first being very erotic and exciting, the second, not so much!

5) Having a toasty bottom for a while. The residual effect is savored by most of the subs. Several said it gave them a sense of comfort, others a feeling of warmth (both literal and figurative) and some said it made them feel close to their partner in the hours that followed their spanking, whether it had been for punishment or pleasure.

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Has a spanking ever disappointed you, or not satisfied your needs?

Everyone said, at some point in their spanking life, they have been left feeling unhappy or empty after a spanking. The reasons varied.

Not surprisingly, a spanking that lacks gusto was a common cause of discontent. (This raised quite a few discussions about the fine line a spanker must walk).

On a personal note, I recall a Dominant producing, with great flourish, a tawse. My butterflies flew into overdrive, but the dang thing barely tickled. He’d been so excited about using it I didn’t have the heart to tell him it had been an extremely frustrating experience.

Just to digress for a moment, a respectful whisper: workmen, know your tools!

Some women said they had no issues with casual spanking scenes. Others reported feeling empty and depressed after being spanked by someone with whom they were not in a relationship. Considering endorphins (our internal happy pills) are released during a spanking, one would assume it wouldn’t matter, but for many the emotional connection is fundamental to the experience.

What is your least favorite thing about being spanked?

The overwhelming response; when he doesn’t realize he’s spanking too long (or too hard). Some of those who made this statement admitted they didn’t have a caution or safe word, but felt reticent about raising the issue. Others said they had the words, but were loath to use them.

(This particular question gave several respondents food for thought).

A surprising reply offered by more subs than you might expect; a preference for taking a shower and making themselves ‘ready’ for a spanking, rather than a spontaneous yank over the lap.

The obvious conclusion here; some women like to feel pretty and presentable before being laid bare before their beloved.

Another answer that came up several times was, too many implements. Opinions about this however, varied greatly.

How would you describe the perfect spanking, and how does it makes you feel?

Punishment Spanking– A Perfect spanking would:
1)  involve the spanker pausing to scold during the discipline.
2)  end with kneeling in front of the spanker.
3)  be hard enough to punish the crime without it being over the top. (There’s that fine line again).

How does it make you feel There was a general consensus.
1)  A punishment spanking helped erase their guilt.
2) There was a deep sense of being cared for.

Pleasure/Play Spanking
1) Most said that for a pleasure/play spanking to be perfect, it would have to involve erotic and sensuous touching, fondling and caressing.
2) Many said it would include teasing and denial.
3) Bondage and sensory deprivation were important to just over half of the respondents.

The feeling after a perfect pleasure spanking? A sense of elation and being fulfilled.

Favorite and least favorite implement.


The Hand. This was a clear winner. Skin on skin, intimacy, and as one woman said, “just the feel of his hand slapping my butt. Nothing can match it.”

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Floggers. There are many types of floggers, there was only one negative comment. Most found the fabulous flogger intense (in a good way), and a few said it had taken them into subspace.

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 Riding Crop. Not the bar of the crop, but the tongue. The light tapping and a few good swats from that wicked little piece of leather was spoken of with great fondness.

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Least Favorite

1) The Cane. Apparently this beastly little tool is universally disliked, though if used in conjunction with erotic play, and delivered with care, it can be forgiven, and even enjoyed.

2) The Hairbrush/Bath-brush. Another unpopular implement, though brushes come in varying shapes, sizes and materials. Like the cane, it is dreaded, and some said it has taken on the role of, “do you want me to fetch the hairbrush?”

3) The Belt or Strap. About one-third said they didn’t like it at all, and it was used strictly for punishment. The remaining subs said that while it wasn’t something they looked forward to, it was preferable to the hairbrush and cane.

4) Paddles. Leather won out over lucite and wood.

Last but not least, favorite position.

1) Over The Knee. No surprises here. The close physical contact to the spanker, the position itself…titillating, embarrassing, squirming on his strong thighs…and for some, a sense of feeling like a child, all contribute to this universally loved position.


2) Bent Over A Bed. Many said they like the feeling of their spanker sitting next to them, and even more liked having the softness of the mattress.

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3) Standing Bent Over. For a quick spanking, it is, as some put it, “perfectly fine.” Others said they liked the feeling of their spanker’s arm around their waist. For any length of time, however, not particularly favored.

4) Standing. Whether tied with arms above the head, or leaning against the wall, this is not popular, with one exception; while being flogged.

There are 17,254 other questions I could have asked, and I wanted to ask them all, but time and space dictates only so much coverage. I chose what I believed would be the most interesting and pertinent.

In closing, I want to say thank you to my dear friends who were so open and willing to share their thoughts.