My Goodness Me!  I Must Vent

Recently I joined a vanilla dating site – a rather famous one – thinking (perhaps foolishly)  that I might find a Dominant lurking in the halls, disguised as I was, looking for the tell tale word or phrase that would alert a like minded soul.  For many reasons I withheld my photograph, not the least of which is the privacy issue having once exposed my ‘kink’, but promising to send one should the communication deem it.

Over the years I have interacted with Dominants online, and without exception, they have been polite and courteous, demanding nothing from me – including a photograph – until I was ready to offer one.

Men are not so respectful in the vanilla world.  They want what they want and if you don’t capitulate immediately, they dismiss with disdain.

This is not after weeks of communication.  This is after only a couple of emails.  On the few occasions that I felt interested in someone and contacted them, after exposing my submissive self and asking for just a little time to feel comfortable before sending a photograph, each time any delay was unacceptable.

I find it astounding.  Am I missing something?  Is it about instant gratification – image conscious egos – impatience – or simply a lack of respect?  Or am I the one at fault?

Perhaps in the vanilla world it’s all about the image – the look – the arm candy, and perhaps a Dominant is looking for more – the connection – the manner of communication.

I don’t have the answer, but there is something awry when a man (or woman) does not respect another’s privacy, or cannot grant a request as simple as “Please may I ask for just a little more time to get to know you before exposing my identity?”

As frustrated as I am I am glad I am seeking a Dominant and not a vanilla partner.  Though my experience in this ‘dating’ world is severely limited, it is becoming abundantly clear that Romantic Dominants have far more patience and general respect than their vanilla counterparts.

Or am I wrong?