Have you ever been so sexually connected to another, than you never wanted to leave the bed?  Is that chemistry?  Lust?  Is it the BDSMelement that strikes that chord?  The erotic Domination that sets your heart on fire? Are chemistry and lust the same thing?  Or is it love?

la dame sans merci I duotone
la dame sans merci I duotone (Photo credit: sweethell)

Since the dawn of time, humans have attempted to analyze and understand exactly what that ‘thing’ is.  The intangible, exquisite, compelling romantic ‘thing’ that either exists or doesn’t.  For centuries poets have written about, music has been composed, and songs are sung about it.  Movies, books and television pay homage to it.  And when it enters our lives, whether man or woman, it can make us crazy, and put us on a high unlike any other.

Some might call ‘it’ –  being ‘in love’.  But here’s the real question.  Can you have that ‘thing’ – that chemistry, be ‘in love’, have that incredible sexual connection, with someone who does not have the D/s gene?

The only time I have ever felt that overwhelming sense of being engulfed by another, ultimately culminating in sexual mania, was with a Dominant.  But was it the pull of his extraordinary talent as a Dominant with which I was ‘in love,’ or was it the man?  Had he not possessed his unique skills, had he not been able to express our connection in the manner that he did, with his ropes and crops and dominant prowess, would I have had that marvelous, enveloping, spine chilling experience?  Would vanilla sex with him, have given me the same intense pleasure, just because of how we meshed?

Since my heart lives in the chains of a submissive soul, I tend to think not.  But the truth is, it’s impossible to say.  Chemistry – lust – being ‘in love’.  Maybe it’s all the same thing, Dom/sub/ or vanilla.  And perhaps the degree to which it can be experienced, is heightened by the D/s dynamic.  But ‘it’ is still ‘it’ – and we all want, crave, seek, and cherish ‘it’.  I hope science never does figure it out.  I don’t think we are supposed to know.  But I do believe, when it crosses our path, we should embrace it, treasure it, and keep it safe.  ‘It’ – is a gift.